Tuesday 21 August 2012

I need your advice today!

I got a very encouraging email from a friend today who beat breast cancer 10 years ago (almost to the day). She's a wonderful woman of God and she said two things that I wanted to share with you!

The first thing she said to me that struck me the most was to take the journey one step at a time. It sounds cliche when I put it in my own words but in all honesty some days have been bearable on the journey but other days make me feel like throwing in the towel, crawling under my covers, and waiting for Jesus to come back. The towel-cover-waiting days usually come with a mountain of rational and irrational questions that leave me feeling deflated and anxious like - is the chemo really working? did I check my temperature recently enough? how am I going to continue my masters? how come there's no family history of cancer in my life? what if I have to cancel my physio appointment for tuesday? what if they take blood from me again and it hurts? etc.etc.etc.
In reality, there are 3 types of questions I'm asking myself: 
(1) rational questions that I am unable to answer (like, do I have to cancel my physio appointment or is the chemo working?) yet because they're in the future or some different reason (like I will never know)
(2) irrational questions (like, howcome there's no family history of cancer in my life?) that I have to daily (or hourly... or minutely) give to God because there is no point in worrying about these things EVER! especially if they are irrational.
(3) rational questions (like, did I check my temperature?) which are easy to answer because I can just go ahead and check my temperature!

Furthermore, of these 3 questions I'm asking myself I should only focus on the 3rd one. These are the questions that will help me take this journey one step at a time. Worrying about the future treatments or potential hospital trips is useless, the bible even says "do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." This verse was so much easier to read when I had less things to be anxious about about -- it's harder to read now but more meaningful at the same time -- and it will be easier to remember if I only allow myself to ask the questions from the 3rd category, and dismiss the questions from the other 2.

That was a big jumble of thoughts clumped together and I hope it made sense as you read along but if you've made it this far this is where I NEED YOU and the reason why I need you is because I NEED YOUR ADVICE!
The second thing my friend suggested was indulging in a hobby, when she went through her treatment she learnt to quilt, and another friend of hers learnt to paint, I need your help to find a hobby! I really wanted my hobby to be cooking or baking but the smell of certain foods makes me feel nauseous and I have an increased dosage of blood thinners so I'm scared of chopping things up. Still, pleeeeeease feel free to suggest absolutely anything you think would be a great hobby to have that is low impact, relatively safe, and doesn't involve smelling food. The worst thing that could happen to your suggestion is that I say no -- and that's nothing worth worrying about ;)

2 comments:

  1. If you would like I will teach you to knit, or do cross stich - those are good hobbies and make great gifts :)

    ReplyDelete