(Warning: I backed up my argument to the MAX with Bible references. I honestly believe if I had any more Bible references in this blog post I probably could have just physically handed you a Bible to read. I would apologize for the extreme amount of references in this post but I'm not sorry for it. We have a Bible-illiterate culture nowadays and this is my small attempt to try and fix it!)
Let's start.
The quickest recap you've ever experienced:
1. "a glad heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is broken" (Proverbs 15:13). We experience brokenness through sorrow in our heart. We can begin healing from brokenness by (i) allowing ourselves to grieve and (ii) crying out to God -- He is our refuge and strength!
2. "[the sacrifice acceptable] to God is a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart [broken down with sorrow... " (Psalm 51:17 AMP). We are all broken. However, when we sacrifice our brokenness to God we can have a deeper relationship with Him.
Today's focus comes from John 12:24 where Jesus tells his disciples "truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit."
Alright, it's time to be blunt again. I think brokenness causes a from of death inside of us. There's something permanent that can occur when a heart is broken. Two days ago I wrote about how our hearts don't have to be broken forever because we can find healing through God. I still believe this is true; however, when God puts the pieces of our hearts back together he makes it a little softer than it was before. We, of course, then have the opportunity to make it hard again if we choose, or we can accept this new heart inside of us and even allow God to soften it up some more. Our hearts don't have to be permanently broken after being dropped on the ground; but, they can be permanently softer if we choose compassion over hard-hearts.
Furthermore (the bluntness continues), there's a death that occurs from sacrificing our broken hearts to God (see yesterday's post). By sacrificing anything to God we are denying ourselves and choosing to follow God's ways. This denial of self is fundamentally a death to our earthly desires.
Now both of these situations I've just described are disguised as bad situations because they both involve "death". However, because we serve and awesome God, we know that God never brings about death without the promise of a better life. Jesus said that whoever tried to save their life would actually lose it and whoever lost their life for Him would actually save it (Luke 9:24). Paul wrote to the Ephesians about how we are "made alive in Christ, even when we were dead in our transgressions" (2:5) and to the Romans about how "if Christ is in [us, our] bodies are dead because of sin, yet [our] spirit is alive because of righteousness" (Romans 8:10).
Nonetheless, John 12:24 ("unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit") doesn't focus specifically on our physical lives but instead on what we do with our lives. By experiencing brokenness we have the tendency to believe we will no longer be of any use to God; the exact opposite of this is true. God has always used broken people for His kingdom.
Today I was talking with a friend who said he wished he could be more like Noah or David because they seemed to be perfect men. I was almost slightly offended by his statement and thought I would correct him by going on a five minute rant about how completely imperfect these men were. If you're currently a child that still attends Sunday school sorry for the spoiler alert but Noah and David both messed up, big time. On one hand we have Noah, who got drunk, passed out naked, and then woke up and cursed his own son for making fun of him (Genesis 9:21-25). On the other hand we have David, who seduced and slept with a married woman (2 Samuel 11:3-5); indirectly murdered her husband (2 Samuel 11:14-17); raised a son who raped a woman (2 Samuel 13:11-13), murdered his own brother (2 Samuel 13:28-29), and then led a rebellion against his father (2 Samuel 15:7-14); and then David committed a final sin of going against God's wishes and taking a census of his people (2 Samuel 24:1). Yet, Noah was chosen to save all the animals on earth and repopulate the world, and David has forever been remembered as the man after God's own heart (Acts 13:22).
Brokenness isn't a life sentence of spiritual barrenness. Yes, we have to come to terms with the fact that we've experienced heartbreak and sorrow. Although we may seem like a dead seed to the world, God sees more than that! God sees not just the dead seed that's inside of us but the tree that can form from the seed, the fruit that can form from the tree, the seeds that can form from the fruit, the trees that can form from the seeds, the fruit that can form from trees, and the orchard that can be produced in our life (Dr.Myles Munroe). So you see, death is a precursor for true life.
We die to the hurt that has struck in our lives, and live for the love God has placed in our past, present, and future. We die to the labels the world has given us, and live for the identity God has given us. We die to the expectations society has forced on us, and live out the callings God has placed in our hearts. There is no need to worry dear one, God has a plan for your life. Don't be discouraged by the brokenness you've experienced and don't be pessimistic about the deaths you will face. They're just an end that will be used for a beginning, a broken road that will lead you straight to fate.
Friday 30 November 2012
Thursday 29 November 2012
Brokenness part II
It's day two of my three day series and to be honest I'm still struggling with the concept of brokenness. I've actually been struggling so much that I've been at my computer for over two hours and I've thoroughly checked my facebook, twitter, instagram, and pintrest for the first time in days! I've also only written these three sentences you've read so far...
Therefore, I'm going jump right into the scripture because whenever you're in a place of confusion and complication the scripture is a good place to start. Yesterday's golden scripture was "a glad heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is broken" (Proverbs 15:13). I found it quite fitting to start today with Psalm 51 which says that "[the sacrifice acceptable] to God is a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart [broken down with sorrow... " (vs.17 AMP).
To begin to explain the significance of this verse I have to begin by talking about what it means to have an acceptable sacrifice for God. The key word here is ACCEPTABLE. I read the Old Testament last year for the first time (for the class I almost failed -- if you remember that blog entry) and the books in the Old Testament are literally full of unbelievable events. Moreover, one of the things people did in the Old Testament was make animal sacrifices to God. People back then, much like people today, were imperfect. Being imperfect was bad because God can only be in relationship with people if they don't have imperfections (because He is perfect; this didn't cause God to separate Himself from His people but by being imperfect His people ultimately built a wall between themselves and God). God really loved his people though, so He told them to sacrifice perfect animals. Because those animals were perfect (i.e. without blemish) they would cover the imperfections of the people so that the people could once again be in relationship with God. (Sidenote: we no longer have to sacrifice animals because Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice who died for all of us and all our "imperfections", how awesome is that!?). Therefore, when we look at Psalm 51 through the Old Testament lens, the sacrifice ACCEPTABLE to God now has a greater depth to it. The only sacrifices that are acceptable to God are those that are perfect, without blemish, full, and complete; and still, the sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit and a contrite heart (vs.17).
To define "sacrifice" better, this is considered to be an act of adoration, worship, atonement, prayer, surrender, and faith. We sacrifice to God because we believe He has something better for us than whatever it is we're giving up. On that note, sacrifice always costs us something, even when it's a broken spirit and a contrite heart. However, no matter how costly our sacrifices may be, there's beauty in the broken sacrifice. Our lives are infinitely higher with our broken hearts placed in God's hands than any half, calloused, or broken-heart we could have here on earth. Although we may believe that we are losing something in a sacrifice we are gaining something worth more than gold. Our broken spirit becomes something glowing, refined, radiant, pure, and beautiful. Our earthly brokenness is replaced by a heavenly wholeness.
Therefore, I'm going jump right into the scripture because whenever you're in a place of confusion and complication the scripture is a good place to start. Yesterday's golden scripture was "a glad heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is broken" (Proverbs 15:13). I found it quite fitting to start today with Psalm 51 which says that "[the sacrifice acceptable] to God is a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart [broken down with sorrow... " (vs.17 AMP).
To begin to explain the significance of this verse I have to begin by talking about what it means to have an acceptable sacrifice for God. The key word here is ACCEPTABLE. I read the Old Testament last year for the first time (for the class I almost failed -- if you remember that blog entry) and the books in the Old Testament are literally full of unbelievable events. Moreover, one of the things people did in the Old Testament was make animal sacrifices to God. People back then, much like people today, were imperfect. Being imperfect was bad because God can only be in relationship with people if they don't have imperfections (because He is perfect; this didn't cause God to separate Himself from His people but by being imperfect His people ultimately built a wall between themselves and God). God really loved his people though, so He told them to sacrifice perfect animals. Because those animals were perfect (i.e. without blemish) they would cover the imperfections of the people so that the people could once again be in relationship with God. (Sidenote: we no longer have to sacrifice animals because Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice who died for all of us and all our "imperfections", how awesome is that!?). Therefore, when we look at Psalm 51 through the Old Testament lens, the sacrifice ACCEPTABLE to God now has a greater depth to it. The only sacrifices that are acceptable to God are those that are perfect, without blemish, full, and complete; and still, the sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit and a contrite heart (vs.17).
To define "sacrifice" better, this is considered to be an act of adoration, worship, atonement, prayer, surrender, and faith. We sacrifice to God because we believe He has something better for us than whatever it is we're giving up. On that note, sacrifice always costs us something, even when it's a broken spirit and a contrite heart. However, no matter how costly our sacrifices may be, there's beauty in the broken sacrifice. Our lives are infinitely higher with our broken hearts placed in God's hands than any half, calloused, or broken-heart we could have here on earth. Although we may believe that we are losing something in a sacrifice we are gaining something worth more than gold. Our broken spirit becomes something glowing, refined, radiant, pure, and beautiful. Our earthly brokenness is replaced by a heavenly wholeness.
Therefore, I think that when we experience any form of sorrow or heartbreak (and don't let anyone but yourself define what these things mean to you) we are left with a broken spirit and a contrite heart. Within the first few weeks of my diagnosis I began to realize how very much more broken I really was. In retrospect, it was as if my physical body was representing the state of my spiritual humanity. I had an illness inside of me, which the very definition of it caused me to feel like a damaged human; on top of that, the treatment itself was causing me to feel like a shattered human. I felt like a porcelain vase that fell off a cupboard and cracked and in an attempt to fix it someone took a jackhammer to it. Having a broken spirit began to have new meaning in my life.
Brokenness is interesting to think about as an acceptable sacrifice because we would never go to the store and buy something that was broken. Nor would we ever keep an appliance or utensil that was broken -- it would be useless. When we think of our spiritual brokenness we sometimes believe that because we are "broken" God will see us as if we're expendable. Despite what we may believe about ourselves, God doesn't see our "brokenness" as worthless or valueless; He sees it as an acceptable sacrifice, to Him it's perfect. Therefore, I don't believe anyone should ever feel worthless, insufficient, or unimportant (but broken is a different story). I know I was always broken, I honestly think we all are. And you know what? The beauty that's found in this brokenness shows me that brokenness isn't necessarily bad. Yesterday I wrote about the healing that can come when we grieve our losses and cry out to God. Today I get to proclaim that when we acknowledge our brokenness and sacrifice it to God not only will we experience healing but we will be able to find ourselves in a deeper relationship with God. We no longer have to live defined by the things that brought us sorrow or made us broken. We can sacrifice our brokenness to God, and in doing so grow closer to Him. We can trade in our lives of shattered pieces for a whole life, with a hope to one day be used by Him.
to be continued...
Brokenness is interesting to think about as an acceptable sacrifice because we would never go to the store and buy something that was broken. Nor would we ever keep an appliance or utensil that was broken -- it would be useless. When we think of our spiritual brokenness we sometimes believe that because we are "broken" God will see us as if we're expendable. Despite what we may believe about ourselves, God doesn't see our "brokenness" as worthless or valueless; He sees it as an acceptable sacrifice, to Him it's perfect. Therefore, I don't believe anyone should ever feel worthless, insufficient, or unimportant (but broken is a different story). I know I was always broken, I honestly think we all are. And you know what? The beauty that's found in this brokenness shows me that brokenness isn't necessarily bad. Yesterday I wrote about the healing that can come when we grieve our losses and cry out to God. Today I get to proclaim that when we acknowledge our brokenness and sacrifice it to God not only will we experience healing but we will be able to find ourselves in a deeper relationship with God. We no longer have to live defined by the things that brought us sorrow or made us broken. We can sacrifice our brokenness to God, and in doing so grow closer to Him. We can trade in our lives of shattered pieces for a whole life, with a hope to one day be used by Him.
to be continued...
Tuesday 27 November 2012
Brokenness part I
Ever since the journey through battling cancer began I've been expectantly waiting for it to be over. I've gone over my life a million times in my head how pleasantly ignorant I was of suffering in the world before any of this ever happened to me. Yet, yesterday when having coffee with a friend I found myself saying to her that I now was beginning to understand that suffering isn't necessarily something bad. I don't really know why I said it. Have you ever done this before -- state something you believe and then get confused as to why you actually believe it? I don't know why but this always happens to me, I have a sense of why something is right or wrong in my soul but my mind can't figure out what it is. I then have to go to the internet, friends, and Pastor Andy and try to figure out how my heart can be wrapped around an idea that my head doesn't yet understand.
The title of this blog is "Brokenness part I" because this is an idea my heart and mind have been struggling with for the past few weeks and I'm only beginning to scratch the surface of what it means to be broken, what it means to suffer, and whether those things are bad or good. I will answer those questions before this week is over to the best of my extent, but I challenge you to ask yourself these questions as well and see what you believe about these things as well.
Anyways, this odd heart-discerning-nes happened to me when I was with my friend at coffee yesterday. I confused myself with the own words that came out of my mouth and I couldn't stop thinking about suffering for the rest of the day. I still haven't been able to shake the idea of suffering not being bad from my heart and soul. How could I possibly have said that suffering wasn't bad? How could I possibly believe that suffering isn't bad?
On my search for truth I found lots of scriptures that I think line up with why suffering could possibly not be bad. I will only talk specifically about one today; and this lovely scripture comes from Proverbs and says "a glad heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is broken" (15:13). Isn't that so true? The first thing that happens to us when sorrow fills our heart, when we suffer, is having our spirit filled with brokenness. I think I've felt this feeling a thousand times in my life. Every time I've experienced this I've felt the same reaction in my heart. It's the feeling you get when you realize you're going to get in a car accident right before you actually get in the accident. It's the moment when you realize you failed your $500 college class and have to tell your parents about it. It's the time when your entire volleyball team is counting on you to make two serves to qualify for provincials and you stuff the second one up. It's the pang in your heart when you find out the person you like really doesn't feel the same way about you. It's the initial shock of being told someone you care about has a long and difficult journey before them. It's finishing the third round of chemotherapy and not knowing whether or not you'll ever be able to go through that ever again.
It's painful and it's alarming and it's gruesome and to put it plainly it sucks. All of these hurtful things are what we most often associate with suffering. And what's the outcome of suffering? Initially it leaves us brokenhearted. This part of suffering is bad. This part of suffering hurts. However, these brokenhearted times are when we get to make a choice. We can choose to either avoid or losses or grieve our losses and to either freak-out to the world or cry-out to God. The choices we make can either help us begin our healing or help us begin our own defeat.
From someone who has gone through all four of these things I can testify that the first step in brokenness is allowing yourself to grieve your losses. We live in a world that's obsessed with perfection. From my understanding, men are expected to run the world; from my personal experience, women are expected to run the world, their families, and still have time to literally go on runs (let's just admit neither sex has it easy and we should figure out a way to help each other out). On that note, having losses is not ideal for perfection and grieving your losses makes perfection seem implausible. This is a lie the world has told us! The Bible clearly tells us that "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:18). Do you know how excited I was when I read this verse? I literally started crying when I read this. The world tries to tell us that we're going to be alone if we acknowledge our suffering when in reality the God of the universe draws near to us when we realize how incredibly broken we are. Even if the entire world rejected us in our suffering we would still be held close by the Lord who loves us more than anyone in the entire world could ever even understand love. We have to allow ourselves (and people around us) to grieve our (and their) losses. We have to start seeing grief not as a weakness but as a necessity for experiencing suffering.
Once we allow ourselves to grieve our losses our next step is crying out to God. God is described as our rock, fortress, deliverer, shield, horn of salvation, and stronghold (Psalm 18:2). He can consistently and continuously take our cries, rants, frustrations, fears, hurts, shouts, punches, failures, and our ultimate breakdowns. And He will still never leave us. Psalm 34 continues on to say that "the Lord will rescue his servants; no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned" (Psalm 34:22). How reassuringly beautiful. Furthermore, one of the best parts is that when you do cry out to God he isn't going to judge you, he isn't going to go to everyone and gossip about what you said, he isn't going to get freaked out and leave, he isn't going to have a bad reaction and make you feel like garbage, he isn't going to glaze his eyes over and zone out, and he isn't going to have to pretend that he understands what you're going through. In fact, the amazing thing about God is he knows when you need to be sent a friend (or even when you need to be sent a stranger). And if that's not alluring enough for you, no matter how broken we may believe ourselves to be, God will continue to offer himself as our refuge and as our rescue (Psalm 34:22).
to be continued...
It's painful and it's alarming and it's gruesome and to put it plainly it sucks. All of these hurtful things are what we most often associate with suffering. And what's the outcome of suffering? Initially it leaves us brokenhearted. This part of suffering is bad. This part of suffering hurts. However, these brokenhearted times are when we get to make a choice. We can choose to either avoid or losses or grieve our losses and to either freak-out to the world or cry-out to God. The choices we make can either help us begin our healing or help us begin our own defeat.
From someone who has gone through all four of these things I can testify that the first step in brokenness is allowing yourself to grieve your losses. We live in a world that's obsessed with perfection. From my understanding, men are expected to run the world; from my personal experience, women are expected to run the world, their families, and still have time to literally go on runs (let's just admit neither sex has it easy and we should figure out a way to help each other out). On that note, having losses is not ideal for perfection and grieving your losses makes perfection seem implausible. This is a lie the world has told us! The Bible clearly tells us that "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:18). Do you know how excited I was when I read this verse? I literally started crying when I read this. The world tries to tell us that we're going to be alone if we acknowledge our suffering when in reality the God of the universe draws near to us when we realize how incredibly broken we are. Even if the entire world rejected us in our suffering we would still be held close by the Lord who loves us more than anyone in the entire world could ever even understand love. We have to allow ourselves (and people around us) to grieve our (and their) losses. We have to start seeing grief not as a weakness but as a necessity for experiencing suffering.
Once we allow ourselves to grieve our losses our next step is crying out to God. God is described as our rock, fortress, deliverer, shield, horn of salvation, and stronghold (Psalm 18:2). He can consistently and continuously take our cries, rants, frustrations, fears, hurts, shouts, punches, failures, and our ultimate breakdowns. And He will still never leave us. Psalm 34 continues on to say that "the Lord will rescue his servants; no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned" (Psalm 34:22). How reassuringly beautiful. Furthermore, one of the best parts is that when you do cry out to God he isn't going to judge you, he isn't going to go to everyone and gossip about what you said, he isn't going to get freaked out and leave, he isn't going to have a bad reaction and make you feel like garbage, he isn't going to glaze his eyes over and zone out, and he isn't going to have to pretend that he understands what you're going through. In fact, the amazing thing about God is he knows when you need to be sent a friend (or even when you need to be sent a stranger). And if that's not alluring enough for you, no matter how broken we may believe ourselves to be, God will continue to offer himself as our refuge and as our rescue (Psalm 34:22).
to be continued...
Monday 26 November 2012
Self-fulfilling prophecy
I'm going to be blunt and honest with you today. I don't feel like writing a blog. So, I'm just going to tell you about my favourite psychology prophecy: self-fulfilling prophecy. I also want to mention that this is not my favourite "theory" because it's a "prophecy" but I hope to one day tell you about my favourite theory too (in case you're wondering, or are nerdy like me and want to look it up, it's reactance theory).
Back to self-fulfilling prophecy. Let me start off by defining it for you so you can join me in my excitement! Self-fullfing prophecy is when a person will have expectations (either good or bad) about a person, event, or situation and then treats that person, event, or situation accordingly, causing their expectations to be fulfilled due to their behaviours towards them. That's quite the wordy explanation but I'll explain it better with an example... maybe one of these will sound familiar to you:
1. You have to go to a friend's birthday party and don't know anyone. You say to yourself, "this is going to suck and no one is going to talk to me". You go to the party and don't talk to anyone then leave an hour later telling yourself, "I knew no one would talk to me".
2. You have to go to a wedding and you only know people in the wedding party. You tell yourself, "It's okay that I don't know anyone, this is a great opportunity to make friends and this party is going to be off the hook" (because you decide you're a gangster today). You go to the wedding, cry during the ceremony, make friends at the reception, eat two slices of cake, offer to help clean up, make friends with the family, and leave at 2am because you had such a wonderful time. As you leave you tell yourself, "I knew that would be a fun wedding".
HA! I tricked you! Those events are both eerily similar but because the person had different expectation to both events the results ended up differently. Make sense now? The expectations shaped the behaviours which ultimately dictated the outcome of the events (wow, that ended up being a pretty good sentence).
The reason why this prophecy is my favourite is because it's so simple it should be common sense and yet so complex it could change your entire outlook on life! Imagine the mental barriers you could remove if you just stopped believing they existed, or if you had never even know they existed in the first place. Think of how socially, academically, or even athletically successful you could be if you just had more positive expectations of yourself in that area of your life! Think of how different you could feel today if you just expected that you would have a good day :) I love this prophecy! Obviously it's not foolproof and I would never say that people only have themselves to blame for their unhappiness or themselves to thank for their happiness, but I do believe it's a start when having a positive outlook on life.
I think I'm almost at the point of over-stating how awesome this prophecy really is but if you're still not on my side I have one final story for you! It begins in elementary school, which was still kindergarten to grade seven when I was a child (arg, here I go dating myself). Every year I got a C or a C+ in math. It wasn't my subject. Actually, this was before I really started developing my love for school all together. However, when I was in grade four I went with my mom to parent-teacher interviews and my teacher at the time had set up a series of mathematical puzzles for parents to do with their children while they waited for their turn to talk to the teacher. I, of course, hated this at the time but my mother and sister insisted on doing ALL TEN PUZZLES; and after about fifteen minutes they had solved about 3/4 of them. The next day in class my teacher was talking about the puzzles and went through each of puzzles telling us what the answers were. I didn't really care about the answers at the time but apparently they stuck...
Four years later I entered my first year of middle school (grade 8). I don't remember anything about my first few days of class except I remember going to my gr.8 math class and would you believe it our teacher thought it would be fun to start the first day of class with mathematical puzzles. Ten puzzles, we had ten minutes to see how many we could solve. Guess how many I solved... yup, all of them... and I had about eight minutes to spare. I kid you not, the entire class and the teacher thought I was a genius. A few months after that we were working on a different worksheet in class, and going through the answers, and at one point I zoned out and stopped paying attention and then after a few minutes snapped back to reality and realized the entire class was looking at me. I didn't realize why they were looking at me until I noticed that we were on the final and most difficult question of the worksheet and they were all wondering if I had gotten the answer right. That was actually the moment that it dawned on me that people thought I was actually good at math -- that they expected me to know the answers that other people didn't know.
I can't say for sure that this is a perfect example of self-fulfilling prophecy but I still think it's a pretty interesting story. It's possible that I just started liking school more because I was older and more mature. Or maybe my brain had developed more because I was then a teenager instead of a child so it was easier for me to understand mathematical concepts. Or, maybe my teacher and classmates started treating me like I was good at math and I subconsciously started to believe it. I'm not sure which is the true answer but I ended up get the highest mark in my class in gr.8 and doing math honours for gr.9-12 and finishing with mostly A's in those classes too (don't be too impressed I had my fair share of poor grades in other classes as well). I even ended up doing the first year of my degree in mathematics and physics before I switched over to psychology (this is actually why I ended up getting a BSc and not a BA. My math credits transferred over to a BSc so I didn't have to repeat first year if I got a BSc, this is probably the only time in the history of the world that anyone has ever gotten a BSc by default). So, it's a happy ending after all.
Anyhoo, hopefully this will help inspire you to expect good things about today. Maybe this will even help you to see someone more clearly after they fell or rose to your expectations previously. As it may be this may also help you write a paper that you just can't seem to get through right now...
Interesting how I didn't feel like writing a blog today and ended up with this little number. Maybe if I had convinced myself earlier that I did feel like writing a blog you would've ended up reading something different...
Back to self-fulfilling prophecy. Let me start off by defining it for you so you can join me in my excitement! Self-fullfing prophecy is when a person will have expectations (either good or bad) about a person, event, or situation and then treats that person, event, or situation accordingly, causing their expectations to be fulfilled due to their behaviours towards them. That's quite the wordy explanation but I'll explain it better with an example... maybe one of these will sound familiar to you:
1. You have to go to a friend's birthday party and don't know anyone. You say to yourself, "this is going to suck and no one is going to talk to me". You go to the party and don't talk to anyone then leave an hour later telling yourself, "I knew no one would talk to me".
2. You have to go to a wedding and you only know people in the wedding party. You tell yourself, "It's okay that I don't know anyone, this is a great opportunity to make friends and this party is going to be off the hook" (because you decide you're a gangster today). You go to the wedding, cry during the ceremony, make friends at the reception, eat two slices of cake, offer to help clean up, make friends with the family, and leave at 2am because you had such a wonderful time. As you leave you tell yourself, "I knew that would be a fun wedding".
HA! I tricked you! Those events are both eerily similar but because the person had different expectation to both events the results ended up differently. Make sense now? The expectations shaped the behaviours which ultimately dictated the outcome of the events (wow, that ended up being a pretty good sentence).
The reason why this prophecy is my favourite is because it's so simple it should be common sense and yet so complex it could change your entire outlook on life! Imagine the mental barriers you could remove if you just stopped believing they existed, or if you had never even know they existed in the first place. Think of how socially, academically, or even athletically successful you could be if you just had more positive expectations of yourself in that area of your life! Think of how different you could feel today if you just expected that you would have a good day :) I love this prophecy! Obviously it's not foolproof and I would never say that people only have themselves to blame for their unhappiness or themselves to thank for their happiness, but I do believe it's a start when having a positive outlook on life.
I think I'm almost at the point of over-stating how awesome this prophecy really is but if you're still not on my side I have one final story for you! It begins in elementary school, which was still kindergarten to grade seven when I was a child (arg, here I go dating myself). Every year I got a C or a C+ in math. It wasn't my subject. Actually, this was before I really started developing my love for school all together. However, when I was in grade four I went with my mom to parent-teacher interviews and my teacher at the time had set up a series of mathematical puzzles for parents to do with their children while they waited for their turn to talk to the teacher. I, of course, hated this at the time but my mother and sister insisted on doing ALL TEN PUZZLES; and after about fifteen minutes they had solved about 3/4 of them. The next day in class my teacher was talking about the puzzles and went through each of puzzles telling us what the answers were. I didn't really care about the answers at the time but apparently they stuck...
Four years later I entered my first year of middle school (grade 8). I don't remember anything about my first few days of class except I remember going to my gr.8 math class and would you believe it our teacher thought it would be fun to start the first day of class with mathematical puzzles. Ten puzzles, we had ten minutes to see how many we could solve. Guess how many I solved... yup, all of them... and I had about eight minutes to spare. I kid you not, the entire class and the teacher thought I was a genius. A few months after that we were working on a different worksheet in class, and going through the answers, and at one point I zoned out and stopped paying attention and then after a few minutes snapped back to reality and realized the entire class was looking at me. I didn't realize why they were looking at me until I noticed that we were on the final and most difficult question of the worksheet and they were all wondering if I had gotten the answer right. That was actually the moment that it dawned on me that people thought I was actually good at math -- that they expected me to know the answers that other people didn't know.
I can't say for sure that this is a perfect example of self-fulfilling prophecy but I still think it's a pretty interesting story. It's possible that I just started liking school more because I was older and more mature. Or maybe my brain had developed more because I was then a teenager instead of a child so it was easier for me to understand mathematical concepts. Or, maybe my teacher and classmates started treating me like I was good at math and I subconsciously started to believe it. I'm not sure which is the true answer but I ended up get the highest mark in my class in gr.8 and doing math honours for gr.9-12 and finishing with mostly A's in those classes too (don't be too impressed I had my fair share of poor grades in other classes as well). I even ended up doing the first year of my degree in mathematics and physics before I switched over to psychology (this is actually why I ended up getting a BSc and not a BA. My math credits transferred over to a BSc so I didn't have to repeat first year if I got a BSc, this is probably the only time in the history of the world that anyone has ever gotten a BSc by default). So, it's a happy ending after all.
Anyhoo, hopefully this will help inspire you to expect good things about today. Maybe this will even help you to see someone more clearly after they fell or rose to your expectations previously. As it may be this may also help you write a paper that you just can't seem to get through right now...
Interesting how I didn't feel like writing a blog today and ended up with this little number. Maybe if I had convinced myself earlier that I did feel like writing a blog you would've ended up reading something different...
Friday 23 November 2012
Guest blogger Bekka K: God's promises
I
am not quite sure where to begin this... I have never typed a single letter on
a blog before! So whom can I think of better than my dear friend BG to begin to
share this first experience with!
I
had the privilege to be alongside BG this Monday, while she was handed her
diploma for completion of chemotherapy. I have never been so excited for
someone else's diploma before!
What a moment we shared, but I can only imagine how God felt sharing
that moment with us as well. I can say with confidence that after I found out
about BG’s diagnosis, this was the first time in my life that my prayers for
healing had been backed up by my faith that God could actually follow through
and heal!
"Jesus replied " Truly I
tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done
to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself
into the sea' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever
you ask for in prayer. "
Matthew 21:21-22
I had never believed these verses
before. If someone asked me now why my belief has changed I am not sure I can
find an answer yet. I can say that through the intimate relationship I have
been seeking with Christ, I know now my God is real, he is mighty, he is all
powerful and greater than my imagination can begin to envision! He is a loving
God and boy does he love his daughter BG. So today I thought, as both BG and I
had tears in our eyes as we read her well deserved diploma, “I wonder how God
feels!” I think he shed a few more tears than we did!
Now
I move to the next thing on my heart. I have had the privilege of knowing BG
for the past year. We met on an anniversary we now share that is approaching
quite soon. January 1st 2012! What a day, both BG and I were baptized by water
in the tank at GT. I had no idea this beautiful girl people called BG would
become such a prominent figure in my life. That was the beginning of such a
beautiful friendship. Through my love for snowboarding and BG's desire for
students to find Christ, the Lord united us in servanthood and friendship! To
which he is still writing our story.
Our
first project together was planning and executing snow trips up to
Mt.Washington with a bus full of people from the Adore/GT community. Upon the
first bus ride of the year for the snow club trips BG and I went deep! I
instantly developed a heart for this humble, passionate, caring, young daughter
of the most high king! And what a princess I see today!
It
struck me today to think back upon the day I found out BG had been diagnosed
with lymphoma. I had left for work at the beginning of July, Canada day long
weekend to be exact. I said goodbye to BG and planned to skype while I was
away. I was planning on helping BG with the Red Frogs ministry that she was
intending to start up this past September. To be honest living in camp with
terrible service and working 10+ hours/days for the whole month of July, did
not make it easy to skype anyone. The days began to meld together and before I
knew it I was heading home and feeling guilty for I did not have a single skype
date with BG.
My priority at the beginning of August
was to see BG as soon as I got home. As BG answered the door I instantly knew
something was up. Her hair had been cut short (not yet shaved, but short). This
was the first tip off something was up because her hair was long when I left.
The second was a look on her face that I could see right through. We sat down
and she told me the news, as well as why she did not tell me while I was away.
I was shocked! I had been away, praying about where my heart was with Red
Frog's and BG had been going through the realization and diagnosis of lymphoma.
She did not tell me because she did not want me to feel the need to return from
work early just for her. I would
love to say I had cried but (although it did break my heart) I didn’t. My tough
side rose up. My initial thought for the next few days, which I’m quite ashamed
to admit, were of pulling away! I have already gone through the despair of
losing one of my closest friends in life already, so I kept thinking to myself,
"we’re not that close, if I don’t get any closer, if I pull away, I won’t
go through the pain of loss again".
I
am so glad I did not let that thought or the enemy grip my heart any further
...instead I chose to pray, and believe that my God is more powerful than BG's
cancer, the pain in my heart, my fears of grief and loss, and basically
anything of this world! "In addition to all this, take up the shield of
faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil
one" Ephesians 6:16
I
am so grateful God reminded me of these truths. Because of his grace I have had
the privilege of walking alongside BG, my close dear friend, and learning more
than I imagined through a journey together with Christ at our centre!
I
have been learning some of God's promises during this time. I look to them often now,
believing that if I had rooted my faith in them 6 month's ago I would never
harbored the thought of running from BG's side. I am finding the need to share
a few of them with the hope that they might be of help to someone else as they
were a help me.
The
promise of peace- "Peace
I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27
The
promise of confidence- "And
we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who
have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
The
promise of love- "For I
am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the
present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything
else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is
in Christ Jesus our Lord" Romans 8:38-39
The
promise of grace- " My
grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" 2
Corinthians 12:9
The
promise of strength- " In
this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the
world." John 16:33
It
has been incredible to see this girl change in the last six months from the
girl I met merely six months prior.
It was definitely undeniable that a year ago BG was on fire for Christ.
But there is something significantly different now. She is sparkling with God's
glory and grace. She never once pulled away from God through this… yes she had
struggles, she could have said screw this, I’m done God with your plan...but
NO. She pressed in harder and
longer every time it got more difficult.
She trusted in God's word...." 'For I know the plans I have for
you' declares the Lord 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give
you hope and a future.' "
Jeremiah 29:11
Through
her passion for her king she is positively glowing! I have seen a maturity rise
up in the past few weeks far beyond her years. She is speaking the word of God
on a daily basis. Her life is operating minute by minute on a different level
and at a different depth...orchestrated by her King. She knows God has a plan for her and unless it is God
himself she will let nothing stand in her way!
So,
now I will repeat the powerful post by BG herself and say "screwtape you
better watch out"... cause you got something coming ! You ain't seen anything like her, she is magnificent,
our God spared no gift when he
made her, she is one of a kind, she is
the epitome of beauty itself, she is inspiring many, she is going to
fight you holding her King's hand till her very last breathe. She is rising up
out of the fire, molded and formed to do her God's will..."This third I
will bring into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like
gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, "They
are my people" and they will say "The Lord is our God". Zechariah
13:9
She is a princess if I
have ever seen one before... and I am forever grateful God placed her in my
life to show me what it is to be Christ's beloved daughter, a devoted believer,
and my faithful friend!
Thursday 22 November 2012
give thanks.
"16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
This verse has taken over my thoughts in the last 24 hours. It's so simply put and yet so perfectly distressing to comprehend. Being thankful in all circumstances is difficult for me. However, when I find myself being less than thankful for the blessings in my life there is always a root cause of my unappreciative heart: self-centered-ness. There's a bitter sensation that comes with the realization that when I am unthankful I am thinking only of myself and when I am thankful I am thinking of others.
An inward focus causes me to think of everything I lack in the world: talents, gifts, stuff... When I begin to think of the things I lack I am unable to be thankful for the things I have. I can even begin to overlook the things I have in abundance. On the contrary, an outward focus causes me to think of everything I have to offer the world: talents, gifts, stuff... When I focus less on myself and more on the world around me I can see what I've been blessed with. In turn, I am able to bless others these things as well. I can be more thankful for the blessings other people have in their lives because I am secure and confident of my own blessings.
Still, the part that always gets me with this verse is "in all circumstances" (vs.18). It's hard to imagine having every possible awful thing in the world happening to someone at once. Would they really be expected to give thanks even in all those circumstances? I would believe yes. Why? Because even if everything around us fails, even if we fall to pieces, even if we experience the greatest heartbreak we still "7 have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed...15 For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God." (2 Corinthians 4:7-15).
I'm still learning the meaning of these verses but I'm choosing to believe that there is power in a thankful heart.
Wednesday 21 November 2012
Success doesn't mean lack of failure
I don't know why it's on my heart to tell this story to my readers today but for some reason God has put this on my heart to share with you. Maybe it has something to do with it being around the time for midterms and final exams or maybe I once again just need to humble myself to my readers. Regardless, I hope you enjoy this story and learn how big our God is because of it.
Two summers ago I finished my Bachelor degree and was in the process of deciding whether I should pursue a Masters in Forensic Psychology or a Masters in Divinity. I hope you can see struggle between the two because if I made the "wrong" choice it wouldn't be easy to switch subjects. Regardless, after what seemed to be sign after sign after sign of God pointing towards an MDiv I decided to take the leap and apply to Regent College. Nerve-wracked I waited for my acceptance or rejection letter. When it finally came I was over the roof with excitement that I had made it into the college of my dreams. A few weeks later I went to go visit the college and when talking to the counsellor she told me that each credit was $515. "That's not bad!" I thought to myself, "it's pretty much the same as UVic". Little did I realize that at UVic one class is one credit, whereas at Regent (at the time) one class was three credits. This led to my first humbling moment at Regent because after I registered for my first two classes and then realized I owed the school not $1000 but $3000 I had to postpone starting the classes in order to save up more money to pay for them.
A month later, however, I paid of my student fees, ordered my text books, and started my first two masters classes! This was an exciting time for me because I no longer had to take classes I didn't like just to get the degree I really wanted. I'm now going to fast-forward to my first midterm, which was Old Testament Foundations. I was two and a half months into the course (they took extra long because they were through distance ed.) and I had read half of my text book as well as the entire pentateuch. Although I can't remember a lot of it anymore, I actually had about 75% of the people from those books memorized as well as their life stories. I knew the genealogies and a lot of ittie-bittie details about gnats and deserts and mana and other stuff too. Anyhoo -- I was going to ACE my midterm, I had never studied for a test so hard in my whole entire life and finally the time came for me to sit down with my friend and have her watch over me while I would sit there and allow everything I had taken weeks to memorize to pour over onto the test pages. So, the way the test was created was if you put down an answer and got it right you would get one mark, if you didn't put down an answer you would get zero marks and if you put down an answer and got it wrong you would be subtracted a mark. The test was out of forty so when I started writing the test I decided to answer all the questions I for sure knew first, which was about 22. I then decided I could intellectually guess about a few more answers and probably get them right... 24. By this point I started feeling a little panicked. 24/40 isn't that bad for a test, it's 60%. Oh wait, did I forget to mention that you need 70% to pass the test -- yes, this is why the panic set in. I honestly don't remember what happened for the remained of the hour I had left but when I got my results back I ended up getting 46%. This was by far the worst test I had ever failed in my entire life. I think I cried for three days straight when I got my results back.
However, I decided to carry on with the course and then re-take it in the summer. I kept on going with reading my text book and the rest of the Old Testament (Psalms, Proverbs, wisdom books, prophetic books, Judges, etc.). I finally finished all the material for the class and when I wanted to start studying for my final I got a massive pain behind my left shoulder. I went to the doctor and he said that it was just pain because of stress (in retrospect it probably had something to do with the tumour that was sitting on my heart and pushing on all my internal organs towards the left). I ended up getting a month long extension for my class and was partially relieved but mainly just frustrated that once again I was hitting a setback in my studies.
Anyhoo -- I once again studied hard for my final exam, prayed that I would do okay in it, memorized the package we were given to look at, and set up a date and time with my friend so she would once again watch over me while I wrote my final. Once again I don't remember exactly what happened in the exam but I again started by writing all the answers I for sure knew, I then went onto the answers I was pretty sure I knew and finally left the answers I had no idea about. I think this time, however, I had about 36/40 answers written on the test. I think a month went by before I got the results for the class but when I checked the website for the 100th time I looked at my class mark and saw beside it a "B". The first thought I had was, "well that's a cruel joke." I think called my TA to ask her what went wrong with my mark but she assured me that it was not a joke and that that was my final mark in the class. She told me I got an A on my final and that she was smiling the whole way through while she marked it. Even now when I tell this story I'm still in shock.
I primarily don't understand how I failed that first midterm, because I've never studied so hard in my entire life. I secondly don't understand how I passed that class after failing the midterm by a flipping 24% (ugh -- that's bad). But somehow God is gracious and sometimes he carries out the plans he has for our lives. I'm still not sure how a lot of things in my life right now are going to carry out but I like finding peace in his presence. My story reminds me a little bit of the Michael Jordan quote that says, "I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." So, no matter what you're trying to achieve right now, don't be sidetracked by the roadblocks. If you fail at one point or another it's okay to spend one, or two, or even three days crying over your losses. But eventually you have to get up and keep going. You don't know what potential is waiting to be released inside of you, and potential is one of the most powerful forces God has placed inside each and every one of us.
Tuesday 20 November 2012
5 Things I learned about being a Youth Leader
The 5 things I learnt about being a youth leader that I wish I had learned right away.
1. Being cool is not important. I use to go to youth (or Young Life depending on the year) and try my hardest to be "cool" thinking that that was what was important to impress youth. If anything I probably scared some insecure teens away... and some extremely cool ones away too. Your job is not to look cool when dealing with teenagers (or anyone) your job is to look like Jesus. What did Jesus look like? He was loving, caring, and he would approach the outcasts when no one else would -- this was a difficult and humbling lesson for me to learn but this is the job of a youth leader. We don't have to look cool we just heave to learn to start conversations like no other! If you're reading this and thinking to yourself, "ah! I could never do that! Don't worry just keep reading".
2. Being insecure is a definite no. If you are insecure, a youth will be able to tell your insecurities from across the room. Teenagers are not dumb, in fact because they spend the majority of their day with hundreds of other people they are usually quite socially aware of how people are feeling a lot of the time. Now here comes the hard realization that I learned in my second year of being a leader: if you are insecure, you're selfish. Now this is quite a strong and harsh statement to make so let me explain it better. If you go to youth and care more about what people think of you than of what they may discover of Jesus then you're putting your own needs abo another person's spiritual needs. If there is even one youth kid at youth that you don't talk to because you feel insecure about yourself, and they never end up coming back, then that means that you put your own personal needs in front of a youth's spiritual needs: selfish. Beth Moore says that "saving lives is worth losing face every time" and that's the attitude we need to have when we go to youth. It's not our job to look good it's our job to love good.
I learnt this very well because I had to ask myself a lot of times whether I became a youth leader for my own glorification or to love teens and show them God's love. Ultimately if you're a youth leader for your own glorification you will become insecure. If you're there for God's love you will have a confidence that stands alone to nothing and instead of pushing youth further away you will attract them to your personality, character, and love for God. Therefore, if you see someone at youth (or Young Life) that you've never seen before it's YOUR job to talk to them because you are the one filled with Holy Spirit strength, and they are not necessarily there yet. (Not to look down on the young at all but common they're new, give them a break!)
3. Never ever ever ever ever underestimate the power of prayer for youth kids. I can't tell you how many times I've met a youth and prayed desperately but unbelievingly that God would bring them to youth. I also can't tell you the amount of times God has come through with my prayers and EITHER brought those teens to youth and revealed himself to them OR didn't bring them to youth but after they graduated and went through a series of life events brought them to Adore anyways... pretty amazing stuff!! If you want to work for the kingdom of God you have to lift up your requests to the kingdom of God.
4. Stop comparing yourself to other youth leaders. If God created all youth leaders the same then your youth group would be done for because you would only be able to reach a certain type of student. God has placed a group of servants together for his kingdom in your youth group and something that is sometimes overlooked but NEVER should be is the teamwork that has to happen in that group of leaders ever week. The leaders you work with shouldn't be segregated, separated or divided into smaller little cliques. They should be celebrated, loved, and appreciated no matter how they fit into the group. By exemplifying these qualities with the leaders, you are instilling these qualities in the students. By having a knit group of individuals that love, care for, and pray for each other as leaders you are automatically showing the students what a healthy church environment is suppose to look like. You're doing more than creating just a Wednesday, or Thursday, or Friday event; you're creating a community that will one day grow up and take up the co-leader spots. Wouldn't it be great if they already knew how to love and care for each other because of the examples you gave?
5. Be humble to your youth and humble to your superiors. This one really has two subcategories: (i) youth don't think you're cool when you try to tell them about all the "awesome" stuff you did when you were there age and younger, if anything you sound pompous; it's actually more important to listen to youth than it is to tell them your own personal stories. One thing about high school that will never change is that people will always try to be on top. If you're a youth leader you have the opportunity to be humble and allow these youth to be at the top of your world! Allow them to tell you stories and be excited for them or be sad with them or be utterly confused with them! Don't try to top their stories just because you have better stories than them -- of course you have better stories than them you probably have 5 years more experience than them! Get over yourself and leave those stories for your own friends. (ii) Be humble to your superiors, this may be your area director if you're a Young Life leader or your youth pastor if you're a youth leader. Either way, God has placed this person in this position for a reason and although I have struggled greatly with humility always when I'm placed underneath someone I've learnt that God has a plan for their lives, a plan for my life, and a plan for the life of the youth group. Allow your leader to lead you -- chances are God has blessed them with a heart for the mission, a vision for the future, and an ability to lead. And always remember that your leader is not blessed to have you, but you are blessed because God has given you the opportunity to work with youth. Don't let the opportunity pass you by.
Not cool, but still sitting by some youth. You're welcome
2. Being insecure is a definite no. If you are insecure, a youth will be able to tell your insecurities from across the room. Teenagers are not dumb, in fact because they spend the majority of their day with hundreds of other people they are usually quite socially aware of how people are feeling a lot of the time. Now here comes the hard realization that I learned in my second year of being a leader: if you are insecure, you're selfish. Now this is quite a strong and harsh statement to make so let me explain it better. If you go to youth and care more about what people think of you than of what they may discover of Jesus then you're putting your own needs abo another person's spiritual needs. If there is even one youth kid at youth that you don't talk to because you feel insecure about yourself, and they never end up coming back, then that means that you put your own personal needs in front of a youth's spiritual needs: selfish. Beth Moore says that "saving lives is worth losing face every time" and that's the attitude we need to have when we go to youth. It's not our job to look good it's our job to love good.
I learnt this very well because I had to ask myself a lot of times whether I became a youth leader for my own glorification or to love teens and show them God's love. Ultimately if you're a youth leader for your own glorification you will become insecure. If you're there for God's love you will have a confidence that stands alone to nothing and instead of pushing youth further away you will attract them to your personality, character, and love for God. Therefore, if you see someone at youth (or Young Life) that you've never seen before it's YOUR job to talk to them because you are the one filled with Holy Spirit strength, and they are not necessarily there yet. (Not to look down on the young at all but common they're new, give them a break!)
3. Never ever ever ever ever underestimate the power of prayer for youth kids. I can't tell you how many times I've met a youth and prayed desperately but unbelievingly that God would bring them to youth. I also can't tell you the amount of times God has come through with my prayers and EITHER brought those teens to youth and revealed himself to them OR didn't bring them to youth but after they graduated and went through a series of life events brought them to Adore anyways... pretty amazing stuff!! If you want to work for the kingdom of God you have to lift up your requests to the kingdom of God.
4. Stop comparing yourself to other youth leaders. If God created all youth leaders the same then your youth group would be done for because you would only be able to reach a certain type of student. God has placed a group of servants together for his kingdom in your youth group and something that is sometimes overlooked but NEVER should be is the teamwork that has to happen in that group of leaders ever week. The leaders you work with shouldn't be segregated, separated or divided into smaller little cliques. They should be celebrated, loved, and appreciated no matter how they fit into the group. By exemplifying these qualities with the leaders, you are instilling these qualities in the students. By having a knit group of individuals that love, care for, and pray for each other as leaders you are automatically showing the students what a healthy church environment is suppose to look like. You're doing more than creating just a Wednesday, or Thursday, or Friday event; you're creating a community that will one day grow up and take up the co-leader spots. Wouldn't it be great if they already knew how to love and care for each other because of the examples you gave?
3 very different ladies, all awesome
Evan has always been a pretty special leader though :)
Monday 19 November 2012
A chemo rant to Screwtape
I'm at chemo yet again.
I decided to write this post asap because I slowly become more delirious as more drugs get introduced into my system. As well as when the drugs start to kick-in while in my system! Do these sentences make sense? We might be off to a bad start.
Over the past couple days I've been wondering what I wanted to write about today because there is so much stuff stirring in my heart but there's something that I woke up with just burning inside of me wanting to escape. I don't know why but for the past year our Glad Tidings staff has been burdened with physical illness. I'm not going to name any specific people or situations but we've been hit hard with physical, internal, and mental ailments. God has been gracious to all of us and kept us from washing away completely but I am pissed off that we continue to have to go through hardship. I've never prayed so much in my entire life for forms of healing to come upon one group of people. Still, I'm fed up with it. I can't understand why any of these things have happened to our beautiful group of people, the only reason I can think of is that we are doing a good work -- and something is trying to stop us.
I don't want to dwell on the manifestation of the devil or whether he is a real identity or whether he's the personification of evil -- none of that matters in this post because the truth is regardless of where it comes from there is evil. Therefore, you can choose whichever belief you prefer but I will be referring to the devil, or personifaction of evil, as Screwtape like in C.S.Lewis' "The Scewtape Letters".
I'm pissed off with Screwtape and if I ever met him I think it would take everything in me not to punch him straight in the face. He set back my ministry 6 months, he tore my acl, he gave me cancer, and he's hurt my friends that I work with in various and different ways and he's pretty much all an around an ugly guy -- I believe my anger towards Screwtape is a righteous one. On that note, I will now stop giving power to Screwtape because the amount of power he has in the universe is infinitely inadequate to the power of God. And what Screwtape has intended for evil, God will create into good.
On that note,
Dear Sr.Screwtape,
I'm mad at you and you suck. When I rant about all of these things, you are probably pleased with the work you've done in and around our staff. But I'm here to tell you that our time is up. Our time of illness is up, our time of distress is up, our time of sorrow is up, and our time for hurt is up.
I know this rant probably increased your motivation rather than deflating your work but this is where I will begin to talk about God's word.
Our God is a great God. Our God is bigger than our fears, insecurities, superstitions, problems, obstacles, and the worst enemy we will ever meet. Therefore, I believe that every awful ailment that has been brought to the community and staff of Glad Tidings in the past year aren't so much proof of defeat but will begin to produce a harvest bigger than we've ever experienced before. What was meant to be an end will now be a beginning I don't think I can say it better than JRR Tolkien so I'm going to allow him to say it: "All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring; renenwed shall be blade that was broken, the crownless again shall be king.”
Therefore, Sr.Screwtape, you better watch out. We're not going to waste our time coming after you but we're going to break down every stronghold, temptation, false idol, and immature status that you've been creating in the last few years and we're going take them down. We are going to wake up early to meditate in the presence of God every morning, we are going to call on his Holy Spirit in our times of confusion and need, and we're going to FIGHT on our knees as we cry out to God for his salvation in this City. And because He is on our side we are going to win every fight he calls us to fight. We may lose battles, we may lose people, we may lose money or events or personal praise. But we will be fighting for the Lord Everlasting so no matter what battles we come up against we will always win the war.
Our time of illness, sickness, sorrow, and hurt is over. Now is our time to fall on our knees and earnestly, desperately, and diligently seek after God -- this is our fight.
Hide yo kids & hide yo wife.
I decided to write this post asap because I slowly become more delirious as more drugs get introduced into my system. As well as when the drugs start to kick-in while in my system! Do these sentences make sense? We might be off to a bad start.
Over the past couple days I've been wondering what I wanted to write about today because there is so much stuff stirring in my heart but there's something that I woke up with just burning inside of me wanting to escape. I don't know why but for the past year our Glad Tidings staff has been burdened with physical illness. I'm not going to name any specific people or situations but we've been hit hard with physical, internal, and mental ailments. God has been gracious to all of us and kept us from washing away completely but I am pissed off that we continue to have to go through hardship. I've never prayed so much in my entire life for forms of healing to come upon one group of people. Still, I'm fed up with it. I can't understand why any of these things have happened to our beautiful group of people, the only reason I can think of is that we are doing a good work -- and something is trying to stop us.
I don't want to dwell on the manifestation of the devil or whether he is a real identity or whether he's the personification of evil -- none of that matters in this post because the truth is regardless of where it comes from there is evil. Therefore, you can choose whichever belief you prefer but I will be referring to the devil, or personifaction of evil, as Screwtape like in C.S.Lewis' "The Scewtape Letters".
I'm pissed off with Screwtape and if I ever met him I think it would take everything in me not to punch him straight in the face. He set back my ministry 6 months, he tore my acl, he gave me cancer, and he's hurt my friends that I work with in various and different ways and he's pretty much all an around an ugly guy -- I believe my anger towards Screwtape is a righteous one. On that note, I will now stop giving power to Screwtape because the amount of power he has in the universe is infinitely inadequate to the power of God. And what Screwtape has intended for evil, God will create into good.
On that note,
Dear Sr.Screwtape,
I'm mad at you and you suck. When I rant about all of these things, you are probably pleased with the work you've done in and around our staff. But I'm here to tell you that our time is up. Our time of illness is up, our time of distress is up, our time of sorrow is up, and our time for hurt is up.
I know this rant probably increased your motivation rather than deflating your work but this is where I will begin to talk about God's word.
Our God is a great God. Our God is bigger than our fears, insecurities, superstitions, problems, obstacles, and the worst enemy we will ever meet. Therefore, I believe that every awful ailment that has been brought to the community and staff of Glad Tidings in the past year aren't so much proof of defeat but will begin to produce a harvest bigger than we've ever experienced before. What was meant to be an end will now be a beginning I don't think I can say it better than JRR Tolkien so I'm going to allow him to say it: "All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring; renenwed shall be blade that was broken, the crownless again shall be king.”
Therefore, Sr.Screwtape, you better watch out. We're not going to waste our time coming after you but we're going to break down every stronghold, temptation, false idol, and immature status that you've been creating in the last few years and we're going take them down. We are going to wake up early to meditate in the presence of God every morning, we are going to call on his Holy Spirit in our times of confusion and need, and we're going to FIGHT on our knees as we cry out to God for his salvation in this City. And because He is on our side we are going to win every fight he calls us to fight. We may lose battles, we may lose people, we may lose money or events or personal praise. But we will be fighting for the Lord Everlasting so no matter what battles we come up against we will always win the war.
Our time of illness, sickness, sorrow, and hurt is over. Now is our time to fall on our knees and earnestly, desperately, and diligently seek after God -- this is our fight.
Hide yo kids & hide yo wife.
Friday 16 November 2012
Guest Blogger Kendra H: Lesson Learnt
Today was one of the worst experiences I have had so far in Chile, and it sounds ridiculous. I got my haircut. For those of you who don’t cherish your hair, or if you are a man I guess you wont really understand this post. I’m just going to say it, no matter how shallow it sounds: I love my hair. When I have a bad hair day, I’m in a mood and you better look out. I usual wear it shoulder length or longer, but since months have passed since getting it cut I decided it was time for a trim. I found a place near my house and explained that I wanted it short but past my chin. Then before I knew it, I had a bob. I have never had my hair this short and seeing it was a shock to say the least. I struggled to hold back the tears but the second I got into the street I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I was sobbing, weeping, there is no word strong enough for the noises I was making. I got home and immediately called BG via skype. As the phone was ringing I realized something. Who was I to complain about a measly fricking haircut to someone who recently was diagnosed with lymphoma and had no choice but to shave her head? Although the truth is she looks awesome without hair and I look like a mushroom cap with my haircut. I needed to put things into perspective. But even as I chatted with BG and told her how stupid I felt when I compared my situation with hers she was as compassionate as usual. She always is there to hear my stupid problems, even when what she is going through may be much harder. But thats just the kind of person BG is. Always putting others first. She is loving, kind and no matter what I am going through is ready to listen and give amazing advice. As I sobbed via video chat for up what was probably an hour, within that time I felt better. I’m not going to lie, after our conversation I did run out to try and buy hair extension ( only found 2 places and they looked horrible) and I contemplated canceling my night class ( isn’t emotional distress a reasonable excuse?) but I am putting things into perspective. I think part of the reason BG is such an amazing person comes from her family. Cecilia also had some sagely advice for me a.) never get your hair cut by a man ( I guess this is obvious) b.) It’s just hair, it’ll grow back c.) You have your health. Suck it up. ( I added the suck it up part but it seems appropriate). Of course Eduardo just told me it looked great. I belive “very european” were his exact words, and c’mon, if that isn’t a compliment I don’t know what is! Maybe it is the typical dad response just to say your daughter or your daughter’s friend looks beautiful no matter what, but it really did make me feel better.
No matter how many times I keep telling myself, it’s just hair, it’ll grow back, I can’t help feeling ugly inside. I believe we need to feel good about ourselves before we can be happy, and it doesn’t matter how many people tell me my hair looks fine, I need to believe that. Maybe it’ll take a couple days or weeks, but as soon as I feel comfortable with myself I know I can be happy. And with friends like BG it makes
this task even easier.
Thursday 15 November 2012
Need to feel better about today??
This is specifically for my bff Kendra, who had a bad morning today. But if you're having a bad day I made a list of things that will make ANYONE feel better. I think I will also use this list to refer to later on in my life :) possibly even a few days from now. Enjoy!
1. Read this... and be grateful this isn't your life...
"One time I accidentally drank an entire bottle of vinegar. I thought it was terrible wine."
"Once I went out with a guy who wore 3-D glasses the entire evening."
"One time I rode in a sidecar on a guy's motorcycle, and the sidecar detached and went down a flight of stairs."
"Another time I went to a really boring movie with a guy and while I was asleep he tried to pull out one of my teeth. I literally woke up with his hand in my mouth. We went out a couple times after that but then he got weird."
"One time when I was in high school, a guy's mom called me and broke up with me for him."
"There was another time where I was on a date, and I tripped and broke my kneecap, and the guy said he wasn't "feeling it," so he left and I waited for an ambulance."
"One time I was dating this guy for a while, and then he got down on one knee and he begged me never to call him again."
"Another time a guy invited me to a beautiful picnic with wine and flowers, and then when I tried to sit down, he said, "Don't eat anything. Rebecca's coming." And then he broke up with me."
"One time I was at a wedding where the husband was my ex-boyfriend and I was the only one there without a date so the bride made me dance to single ladies by myself."
This could be your life... feel better yet??
2. Watch these clips of the office... and be thankful you're not Dwight or Toby
3. Look at these funny animal memes
4. Remember that learning a different language is difficult for everyone!
5. Never forget that in the entire animal kingdom, "haters gonna hate"
6. Look at these pictures of cute animals!
"hi there! let me shake your paw!"
"why is life so hard?"
"are you talking about me"
"I am so cute!"
"I like to smile at you because you're pretty"
7. Remember I'm always here for you! (in the form of more cute animals)
8. Look at this seal's photobomb! As well as what his friend said about the photobomb!
9. Pretend this is my face while I say the following things....
"I CAN'T BELIEVE HE DID THAT"
"Ooooh my gosh! Girlfriend that is a big no no!"
10. Go put make-up on, do your hair, and put on your favourite outfit. And while doing so put on this playlist:
i. Taylor Swift - we are never getting back together (because sometimes we need to be reminded)
ii. Pink - try (cause you have to remember to keep trying)
iii. Beyonce - single ladies (no explanation needed)
iv. Taylor Swift - I knew you were trouble
v. Beyonce - countdown (because you can't not dance to this song)
vi. Britney Spears - any song at all (because she knows better than anyone what it means to have a bad day... or week.. or month.. or actually few years. And we still love her!)
11. Print out this picture, put it in your wallet and tell strangers and acquaintances he's your boyfriend. He's famous enough that people will recognize him and not famous enough that people won't believe you!
12. Take any of these following products and tell strangers you invented them...
the mug with a moustache on it
the infinity bracelet 
putting spikes on heals (brilliant)
ombre hair -- say you started it when you were 13
13. Be thankful you don't have these tattoos
14. Be thankful you weren't the actress that was asked to play Frida (sorry Selma Hayek)
15. Remember all these awkward moments that happened in high school... and realize that there's no way but up from there...
16. Remember that this happened...
17. And last but not least remember that....
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