On that note, it is both difficult and funny to admit your own vanity. A few days ago I found my list of new years resolutions that I made at the beginning of 2012 and after debating it for a few days I decided to post it on my blog. I listed them below along with how I've done with them so far...
1. Read whole Bible (done!)
2. Pass all my classes (done!)
3. Learn to wear make-up (done-ish... I've realized wearing make-up is a little bit like being a Christian -- you never stop learning)
4. Go on a trip outside of Canada (not done and probably won't happen)
5. Go to the Imax by myself (I know right such a loner but still -- done!)
6. Give blood (done!.. which is awkward because 2 months later I got diagnosed with cancer... so someone out there got my cancer blood... it's better just to not think about it)
7. Learn to wear heels (gave up on this one January 2nd, although I did recently buy a pair of boots with a heel, does that count?)
8. Wear hair down more often (fail)
9. Wear chiffon more often (which would be a fail but my bff Emily [read her post if you haven't yet] bought me a chiffon headband so now it's a "been there done that")
10. Win camp run (if #9 was "been there done that" then this one is definitely "been there WON that!"... just kidding this was the biggest fail of them all but 2013 is my year!)
Anyhoo, reading over this list was awesome. The irony of this list is utterly amusing. Although I could write funny comments about each of my new years resolutions the ones I want to focus on are the "self-image" ones. Let me just start out by saying that the one year I attempted to be consistently pretty by wearing make-up was also the same year I have had to fight harder than ever to feel beautiful at all. It's one of those instances where you can't decide if you should feel upset about your situation or laugh at the reality of it. I think when I originally made this list I just wanted to take myself more seriously; I had just had my graduation ceremony for my degree, I was starting my masters, I had an official job, and I was creating a foundation for a ministry... I came to the realization that I was pretty much almost grown-up. So what do grown-ups do? Wear heels and make-up of course! I don't know, maybe I felt insufficient in my many new roles at the time and figured that I could just "fake it till I would make it". But when I read over the list now I wish I could just talk to my January self and tell her to stop living her life trying to please other people.
I've been realizing lately that I no longer want to be valued because of my physical appearance. I'm a woman of God, and moreover I'm a warrior for God. I don't want to feel competent because of my clothes, make-up, or stature. I don't want to be sucked-up to because of my degrees, skills, or profession. And I don't want someone to be attracted to me because of my face, body, or hair. Of course I want to be confident, capable, and liked but it's silly to try to find these things through avenues that don't last. In 1 Corinthians 9 Paul writes about what it means to be a person of faith. He states that living a life of faith is like training for a race (vs. 24). We must train our bodies and strive daily not for "a crown that will not last, but...[for] a crown that will last forever" (vs.25). I believe the material things we chase after are just crowns that will not last; whereas Jesus, and his promise of eternal life, are the only crown that will last forever.
Reading these verses gives me a perspective to not care about the things of this world, until I remember to read 1 Corinthians 9 in its entirety. Verses 19-23 have caused me to struggled with a different kind of truth: the truth that we live in a vain and judgemental world. In these verses Paul writes about becoming "all things to all people so that by all possible means [he] might save some" (vs.22). He went on to say that to the Jews he became like a Jew, to win the Jews; to those under the law he became like one under the law to win them over; to those not under the law he became like one not under the law to win them over; and to the weak he became weak to win the weak (vs.20-22 NIV). The message version paraphrases Paul's words to say that he became a servant to "any and all in order to reach a wide range of people: religious, nonreligious, meticulous moralists, loose-living immoralists, the defeated, the demoralized -- whoever" (vs.19-23 MSG). However, when I translate it to our current society I can't help but think of all the wide range of people we are meant to be servants to in order to win some of them over: braniacs, athletes, musicians, hipsters, goths, gangsters, nerds, soccer players, basketball players, volleyball players, quidditch players, prom queens, drag queens, drama queens, health freaks, religious freaks, anti-religious freaks, and the list goes on... Therefore, I can't help but think that if I were to wear garbage pants with a gorilla t-shirt (I made both of those things up in my attempt not to offend anyone) everyday then I would inevitably disqualify myself from serving certain types of people because their judgement of me (or perhaps more accurately, my outfit) would cause them not to interact with me. Not only would this disqualify people from being introduced to me (not that big of a deal) but this would also disqualify people from being introduced to Jesus through me (big deal -- this is one of the main callings over our lives as Christians). I am in no way stating that Jesus needs me to reach people throughout the world but his command to us was to "go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation" (Mark 16:15). We're not drawing people closer by pushing the world further away, we draw people closer to God by being in the world and pulling God closer to us.
Therefore, while on this circular train-of-thought, I came to two almost-contradictory conclusions:
1. As followers of Jesus, we can't find our approval of ourselves in the things of this world. Whether it's athletic ability, bodies, clothes, musical talents, looks, grades, singing voices, shoes, teeth, make-up, heels, or ability to win camp runs.
2. As followers of Jesus we must become all things to all people to save some. By going completely against all the things society values we disqualify ourselves from reaching the very people in society who value these things.
Paul sums up how we're able to live with two contradictory principles: because in Jesus, we're free. We can still wear make-up, buy clothes, wash our face, work out, get degrees, make money, own shoes, train hard to win camp runs, and shower. And although we can take part in all of these things, because we are free in Jesus, we do not have to be slaves to any of them nor find our value in these things. Furthermore, because we have found our freedom and our identity in Jesus we are not slaves to anything in the world but free to be servants to everyone, to win as many as possible (1 Corinthians 9:19).
10. Win camp run (if #9 was "been there done that" then this one is definitely "been there WON that!"... just kidding this was the biggest fail of them all but 2013 is my year!)
Anyhoo, reading over this list was awesome. The irony of this list is utterly amusing. Although I could write funny comments about each of my new years resolutions the ones I want to focus on are the "self-image" ones. Let me just start out by saying that the one year I attempted to be consistently pretty by wearing make-up was also the same year I have had to fight harder than ever to feel beautiful at all. It's one of those instances where you can't decide if you should feel upset about your situation or laugh at the reality of it. I think when I originally made this list I just wanted to take myself more seriously; I had just had my graduation ceremony for my degree, I was starting my masters, I had an official job, and I was creating a foundation for a ministry... I came to the realization that I was pretty much almost grown-up. So what do grown-ups do? Wear heels and make-up of course! I don't know, maybe I felt insufficient in my many new roles at the time and figured that I could just "fake it till I would make it". But when I read over the list now I wish I could just talk to my January self and tell her to stop living her life trying to please other people.
I've been realizing lately that I no longer want to be valued because of my physical appearance. I'm a woman of God, and moreover I'm a warrior for God. I don't want to feel competent because of my clothes, make-up, or stature. I don't want to be sucked-up to because of my degrees, skills, or profession. And I don't want someone to be attracted to me because of my face, body, or hair. Of course I want to be confident, capable, and liked but it's silly to try to find these things through avenues that don't last. In 1 Corinthians 9 Paul writes about what it means to be a person of faith. He states that living a life of faith is like training for a race (vs. 24). We must train our bodies and strive daily not for "a crown that will not last, but...[for] a crown that will last forever" (vs.25). I believe the material things we chase after are just crowns that will not last; whereas Jesus, and his promise of eternal life, are the only crown that will last forever.
Reading these verses gives me a perspective to not care about the things of this world, until I remember to read 1 Corinthians 9 in its entirety. Verses 19-23 have caused me to struggled with a different kind of truth: the truth that we live in a vain and judgemental world. In these verses Paul writes about becoming "all things to all people so that by all possible means [he] might save some" (vs.22). He went on to say that to the Jews he became like a Jew, to win the Jews; to those under the law he became like one under the law to win them over; to those not under the law he became like one not under the law to win them over; and to the weak he became weak to win the weak (vs.20-22 NIV). The message version paraphrases Paul's words to say that he became a servant to "any and all in order to reach a wide range of people: religious, nonreligious, meticulous moralists, loose-living immoralists, the defeated, the demoralized -- whoever" (vs.19-23 MSG). However, when I translate it to our current society I can't help but think of all the wide range of people we are meant to be servants to in order to win some of them over: braniacs, athletes, musicians, hipsters, goths, gangsters, nerds, soccer players, basketball players, volleyball players, quidditch players, prom queens, drag queens, drama queens, health freaks, religious freaks, anti-religious freaks, and the list goes on... Therefore, I can't help but think that if I were to wear garbage pants with a gorilla t-shirt (I made both of those things up in my attempt not to offend anyone) everyday then I would inevitably disqualify myself from serving certain types of people because their judgement of me (or perhaps more accurately, my outfit) would cause them not to interact with me. Not only would this disqualify people from being introduced to me (not that big of a deal) but this would also disqualify people from being introduced to Jesus through me (big deal -- this is one of the main callings over our lives as Christians). I am in no way stating that Jesus needs me to reach people throughout the world but his command to us was to "go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation" (Mark 16:15). We're not drawing people closer by pushing the world further away, we draw people closer to God by being in the world and pulling God closer to us.
Therefore, while on this circular train-of-thought, I came to two almost-contradictory conclusions:
1. As followers of Jesus, we can't find our approval of ourselves in the things of this world. Whether it's athletic ability, bodies, clothes, musical talents, looks, grades, singing voices, shoes, teeth, make-up, heels, or ability to win camp runs.
2. As followers of Jesus we must become all things to all people to save some. By going completely against all the things society values we disqualify ourselves from reaching the very people in society who value these things.
Paul sums up how we're able to live with two contradictory principles: because in Jesus, we're free. We can still wear make-up, buy clothes, wash our face, work out, get degrees, make money, own shoes, train hard to win camp runs, and shower. And although we can take part in all of these things, because we are free in Jesus, we do not have to be slaves to any of them nor find our value in these things. Furthermore, because we have found our freedom and our identity in Jesus we are not slaves to anything in the world but free to be servants to everyone, to win as many as possible (1 Corinthians 9:19).
This is worded so elegantly! Something that I've been thinking about lately, as well. Thanks Beeg!
ReplyDeleteLove, Dani