I asked my girl friends to send in stories of funny boy/Valentine's day events throughout their lives and these lovely stories are the outcome... I've also highlighted my favourite parts of the stories and have found some valuable life-lessons in them. Once again they are anonymous!
Story #1: The good
So this one time: A boy I liked mucho-lots and I were going on our first date. And it had been a long time coming so we were verver excited. We were all dressed up and set to take a romantic walk through a vineyard. However, by the time we drove out to the vineyard, I had to go to the bathroom REALLY BADLY and I didn't know what to do because there was nowhere to go and NO WAY I was going to bring it up. So I decided not to say anything and we started walking through the vineyard. A little ways into the walk our conversation was very limited and his mind seemed very preoccupied, so I asked what was up. He said, "I am super embarrassed to say this, but I really have to go to the bathroom." Bonus points for standing watch while the other goes pee in a vineyard? YUP. Most romantic date I've ever been on.
Story #2: The bad
It was Valentine's day and I was in grade 12… I had been “dating” this guy for about two or three week. No, “ seeing” this guy, No… Well to be quite frank I didn’t know what he was to me at the time. It was a really new relationship, and that being said, I didn’t think that Valentines Day would be a factor in it. I could not have been more wrong.
On Valentine's Day about 10 of us decided that an evening BBQ would be the best way to celebrate the day and in true high school fashion- avoid doing homework… The BBQ would be hosted by the guy that I was “seeing”, or “dating”, or “whatever-you-want-to-call-it-ing”. We didn’t attend the same school, so I hadn’t seen him all day, I arrived at his house and he had a huge bouquet of beautiful roses and a purple (lavender scented) teddy bear for me, along with a card. In retrospect the card is my favorite part, on the front it said “To My Girlfriend Who I Love Very Much” Aahhhhhhhh. In the time it took to read a card I went from not having a relationship status to having a boyfriend who would actually put the word L.O.V.E on paper- after 3 weeks. Needless to say I was flattered. And Freaked out. I decided that he must have left it for the last minute and the store must have been all sold out of awkward relationship status free cards so I didn’t over think, it I just embraced the gifts and graciously thanked him. I say “graciously” because I haven’t mentioned yet that given our undetermined relationship I had failed to get him ANYTHING for Valentines. I didn’t even make him a card out of notebook paper. Well our friends soon arrived. I had my arms laden with gifts and quickly excused myself to the bathroom as everyone swapped stories of what they had received that day; just in time to not have to listen to my new “boyfriend” that “loved” me tell them that he had received a large amount of NOTHING. Cringe. Moral of the story: don’t make assumptions. Status or no status, be prepared with
something you can pull out of your purse if he catches you off guard.
Story #3: The ugly
okay! here is a pitiful (wonderful) story of why boys suck!
Day 1 of my singleness started with a bright and early 8am breakup. There's really no better way to start your day! The next couple of hours are vague, but I do recall a lot of crying, puking, shopping, and chocolate-eating. Days passed and a pattern emerged: cry. puke. pray. sleep. cry. shop. chocolate. repeat. As you study the trend you'll notice that the only food ingested was of the chocolate variety... and there was A LOT of chocolate.
Fast forward to day 3. My first day as "the new me". What better way to jumpstart my new life than with a gym pass, I thought. The future was looking bright as I toddled up the stairs to my first fitness class, empty stomached (minus the chocolate) and light headed (due to the crying). Yet, I figured nothing could get in my way! However, a minute into the class things did get in my way: the TRX contraptions hanging from the ceiling, the boys on the volleyball court, the girls in the hallway, and the door to the washroom. All these things got in my way because 30 seconds into our cardio sprint I ran out of the fitness studio to go puke my guts out.
As I lay in the washroom with my arms clinging to the toilet for support, (my TRX instructor awkwardly rubbing my back), puking up all the chocolate inside of me.. I thought to myself, "this is rock bottom... I can never come back to this gym... and this is all HIS fault."
I'm glad to say I've now picked myself up off that dirty bathroom floor; I've regained my dignity at the gym; survived a breakup, a TRX class, and a diet of only chocolate; and I have also now proved once and for all that the term "love sick" is a valid condition but not a fatal one.
Story #4: The alone
Last Valentine's Day I was living in res at UVic and Valentine's day fell on a Saturday and I didn't have any plans so my friend in res told me I should go with her to the mainland because she was going to visit her family and her boyfriend. She assured me that she would only have breakfast with her boyfriend and spend the rest of the day with me so I agreed thinking it would be a fun weekend.
Off we went to Vancouver and when Saturday finally arrived she went out for breakfast with her boyfriend while I stayed at her house with her family and ate breakfast and did some homework. She came home a few hours later with flowers and chocolates that her boyfriend had given her and then informed me she was actually going to spend the rest of the day with him but she came back to drop me off the chocolates (that he had given her). So, I ended up spending Valentine's Day alone in a stranger's house eating chocolates that weren't even meant for me. But if you think about it, I did actually get chocolates indirectly from a boy...
Last Valentine's Day I was living in res at UVic and Valentine's day fell on a Saturday and I didn't have any plans so my friend in res told me I should go with her to the mainland because she was going to visit her family and her boyfriend. She assured me that she would only have breakfast with her boyfriend and spend the rest of the day with me so I agreed thinking it would be a fun weekend.
Off we went to Vancouver and when Saturday finally arrived she went out for breakfast with her boyfriend while I stayed at her house with her family and ate breakfast and did some homework. She came home a few hours later with flowers and chocolates that her boyfriend had given her and then informed me she was actually going to spend the rest of the day with him but she came back to drop me off the chocolates (that he had given her). So, I ended up spending Valentine's Day alone in a stranger's house eating chocolates that weren't even meant for me. But if you think about it, I did actually get chocolates indirectly from a boy...
Story #5: The end
Yeah! My only actual Valentine was when I was 6 years old... It was great but who cares. I'm turning 21 & I'm still single and have no Valentine this year. That's my story lol. I think it's sad but hilarious because the fact is guys aren't ready fo dis jelly #boom
So, if you're single and the stories themselves didn't help you feel pumped about Valentine's Day hopefully that message did. If you're single it's not because you're not a super fly fox but because the world just isn't ready "fo [yo] jelly hashtag boom."
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